Through the Mirror
by The Lotus Black
Summary: The shards of a broken mirror represent what I have become. I can’t put the pieces back together. SonicXAmy


I wanted to post this up on the 27th, since it was my one-year anniversary on FanFiction. Yay me! But, I couldn't make the deadline. I really wanted to fix up a few things.

The theme of this oneshot is a little similar to one of my others: _Waiting for You_. I figured it was still enjoyable seeing as how only a few things differ.

**Through the Mirror  
_Sonic's PoV_**

It's raining again. The droplets of water pound against the window above my head, creating a soothing rhythm that almost lulls me to sleep. Lightning breaks through the dark clouds, brightening the room for a split second. In that moment's time, I caught sight of the broken mirror across from my bed. Large shards seemed to reflect my face as light filled the room yet again. One of them still had my blood dried on it. I broke the mirror. I couldn't stand to see myself after what happened.

I was in love with her. But, I chose to hide my feelings from everyone. I figured they would laugh at me if they knew. Of course they wouldn't, they're my friends. And, they wouldn't be called that if they ridiculed me. Regardless, I still felt insecure when someone questioned me about her. My mind panicked, and I would freeze up. For a brief moment, I would consider letting my secret spill out. What's the worst that could happen?

If only I had known then what would happen if I kept such a strong feeling locked inside. Someone was going to eventually find out. So, why was I hiding it? I can't really answer that. I suppose I was afraid. Yes, I was scared. The Blue Blur…afraid of the world seeing him as a softie. I couldn't help myself: I was a careless teenager.

Now, it seems as if I became three years older. All in one night.

Thunder boomed outside. Surprised, I bolted upright. No longer did I feel relaxed as the rain attacked the windowpane. The peaceful rhythm had been disturbed. The harsh weather reminded me of that night. It was raining just as hard then, yet I didn't care. As fearful as I was of water, I stood in it for hours. Just standing there in front of what was left. I was standing in front of something I could have prevented.

That day will never leave me. I will never forget the thoughts running through my mind, the scent of the air, the feeling of my tears, the sound of the wind rustling through the burnt leaves, and the pain of knowing she'll never come back.

But, why her? Why, of all the people that inhabit this world, why her? Why not someone more important? Why not me?

Because he knew it would hurt me. And, just like that mirror, I feel broken. I feel like I've been shattered into a tiny million pieces. I feel like I have to pick them up. I feel like I have to be the one to put myself back together.

I can't. The pieces of the mirror are too small and sharp. I can look at them, but I can't touch them. And, if I try…

I look down at my hands. My gloves were tattered in various places. Dark red bloodstains lined the openings of the torn fabric. Most glass shards aren't that sharp to cut someone's hand with a simple touch. Then again, I didn't simply touch those shards. I was angry with myself. The pain made me feel better. It made me feel as if I was being rightfully punished for what I did.

I had become something she would despise.

I remember her smiling face. She was always happy. Even when I refused to take her out to dinner, or even when we fought, she would be happy the next day. She was forgiving. She was able to see the good in others. She was the only person able to stop me from committing horrendous acts I would come to regret.

When we first met I wasn't interested in her. I was more interested in Eggman and his ridiculous schemes. I was annoyed because she wouldn't leave me alone. I guess I stuck with that attitude over the years, but I'm different now. I pretend not to care. At times, however, I would shed my heroic outer shell to give her attention. I don't like seeing her sad, especially if it's over me.

I remember how much she loved the beach. She would go there whenever upset. I could always find her there. If she was upset she would normally yell at me and tell me to get lost, but I knew she felt differently on the inside. I would sit beside her until she finally told me what was on her mind. And, at times, our roles would be switched.

She chased me on the beach whenever we weren't talking about how cruel the world can be. I always made sure to run at the perfect speed: she would be at my heels, reaching out for me, but she could never touch me.

Ironically enough, that's what I see when I close my eyes. She is standing there amongst the rubble of her fallen house. Her red dress is tattered, revealing burn marks. She gives me a sad look. I can almost hear her voice: 'Why did you let this happen to me?' I try to answer her, but no words come out. I reach for her. She's so close…but, I can't touch her. Her image becomes rippled, like when a drop of blood touches a pool of water. She disappears, and my world fades to black.

I can feel the psychical pain I've exerted on myself beginning to take its toll. Fresh blood trickled down from my palm and dripped off my finger. It was then that I noticed the refreshing sound of rain had returned to it's soft pattering. I gained the strength to turn the light on. It flickered at first.

It was my house, but she had made herself a room here. I was never home anyway. I was always out trying to protect the world. I should've been protecting her. But…this was her room. There was a bed, a vanity across from it, and a dresser. It was simple. That's the way she liked things: simple and to her liking. The sheets were pink, of course. They were a bit messed up, as I had been sleeping there for the past hour or so.

I bandaged my hand to prevent it from ruining her room even more.

She was here the night before she died. She told me she wanted to get her things. The house that she was living in had become too small for her tastes, and she was moving somewhere closer to the beach. I shrugged, letting her do as she pleased. A thought crossed my mind when she was there that night: I should tell her…if I don't, I might never get the chance.

Isn't it funny how things work out sometimes?

She left the next morning, and while she was making her way home, I decided to go out for a quick jog. I felt strange that day. It felt as if something was out of place. It felt as if something wasn't right. I paused in the middle of a small field of flowers. There was a soft breeze. It was like any other day, but I still couldn't ignore the feeling gnawing away at my subconscious.

What could I do? Everything around me seemed peaceful. The daisies gently flowed with the wind. The sky was a bit darker than normal, but it was going to rain later on, so I didn't take that into much consideration. The sound of rustling trees could be heard in the distance. Then, suddenly…it all stopped. It was quiet. It was calm.

The calm before the storm.

The wind picked up again. It carried the scent of freshly bloomed flowers, and smoke. I glanced over my shoulder. Tails was rushing toward me, a worried expression on his face. He was breathless when he reached me and it was hard to make out what he was saying. I understood, nevertheless. Eggman had attacked. Someone was in trouble.

I always knew she could take care of herself. I never doubted her fighting skills. Unless I knew her opponent was too powerful. I would intervene then, just to protect her from harm. I'm used to danger. I'm used to being psychically hurt. She wasn't. She was used to being emotionally hurt. I'm not used to that. I don't know how she does it. I feel as if I'll never be able to smile again.

I rushed to check up on her. When I got there, I realized I was too late. Her home had become nothing more than a pile of burning wood and ash. I fell to my knees. Tails was beside me, just as shocked. I was too late.

That day, I decided not to hide it anymore. I let all my emotions flow out in the form of tears. Tails noticed, but he didn't do anything. I assume he didn't know how to react: I'm not the type of person that easily cries like this.

And yet, I'm here in her room, crying my eyes out. These memories are too vivid to forget, but too painful to remember.

I want her to come back. I'll do anything for her if she comes back! I fall to my knees and cover my mouth to silence the sound of my sobbing. I look over to my right. The shards are staring back at me.

My reflection morphs into hers.

My heart jumps into my throat. I begin sobbing loudly, wailing 'Don't look at me like that!'

I feel broken. I feel ashamed. I feel angry. But, not at Eggman. At myself. I blame myself. It's my fault! If only I hadn't been so stubborn! If only I accepted your affection! Then, maybe things would be different. Maybe you would've been able to defend yourself.

Amy…

No matter how many times I look away, no matter how many times I rub the tears from my eyes, you're still there…staring back at me in those shattered pieces. My breathing becomes uneven as I try to hold back another sob.

I wish I could slip through that mirror. I wish I could become my reflection, just to be with you. I reach out for you, but my hand touches glass. I can't get to you. You're on the other side. And, it's all my fault.

So, I'll give up. Tomorrow, I'll give up. I'll stop chasing your reflection. I'll stop crying about you.

They need me. I can't stay locked up in here. I'll go insane. It'll kill me.

No. I won't think about death right now. That won't get me anywhere.

I have to go on living.

If I do, I know a part of you will continue to live on in me.

That's what we promised each other, right? When we had that conversation. I barely escaped being killed, and you were worried. I tried to calm you down. You said that…if something happened to me, you couldn't go on. I told you that was silly. I even made a joke about Shadow, although I don't remember exactly what I said.

And then, I said that, if I did die, a part of me would watch over you. But, now the tables have turned. It makes me wonder if you are watching over me as promised. Maybe. Then again, I could be wrong.

Since that day I couldn't bring myself to believe that you were never among us. I always thought you were around, sharing in our joy and adventure. I always thought I could still reach you.

Sometimes, when I'm lying on the roof outside, I see a shooting star flash by.

I think it's you.

I reach out for you.

But, I know…

I can't touch you.

**End**

Emo!Sonic and Co. Belong to SEGA/Sonic Team.  
All references to the song _Breathe No More_ belong to Evanescence and some other people, I guess.


End file.
